people talk about the "good ol' days."  i kinda sorta didn't want to be like one of those people who only look to the past.  i wanted to go forward and do something.  but at the same time i didn't necessarily want to be a pioneer.  i wanted to be a trust-worthy, consistent, and reliable family man and an employee making an honest living.  i didn't necessarily have to let my presence known to the rest of the world.  i just wanted to live my humble life, as faithful to God as possible, then be done.

that kind of life seems so difficult these days.  everything is new.  everything is breaking news.  everything is urgent.  everything immediate.  with the advent of the internet, there is basically no stone left unturned in the world.  it's harder to be different because everyone knows about it right away.

the inundation of information and knowledge is tiring.  both good and bad.  before i would only know of the world outside of myself if i chose to go look for it.  now, it seems like they all come rushing in at once through the door.  i admit, that is of my own choosing.  i am at fault.  but i'm scared to forego the hypertechnosavvy life of the 21st century.

i'm afraid because my body's slowing down.  my mind is slowing down.  everything else is simply getting faster.  if i don't keep up, then the gap will continue to grow and grow.  

but then i ask myself, "for what?"  why am i trying to keep up with the jones'?  or the jetsons?

i don't know what's going on in my mind.  i just knew i had to let it out, because as it was stirring around in my mind, it made me tired.  

so tired.

i'm usually calm and chill.  even if i come across a loss, a hurt, a sadness, i usually brush it off because there are more positive and joyful things to "worry" about.  i don't want to waste my time and energy concerning myself with things i cannot control.  especially when things usually pick up for the better soon after.

but recent events in the world has been piling on and piling on and piling on, and i think i've finally reached my breaking point.  it doesn't help that my diet was horrible yesterday and i have a headache this morning despite a full night's rest.  

the world is becoming a sadder place.  but more so, the world is becoming a dumber place.  i think the internet is a big factor.  not that the internet is inherently bad, but having information so easily available, and millions of unfiltered soundbites inundating our minds has caused this sudden, great downfall.  it is because change is slow, growth is slow, there's a lot of falling and getting back up, self-realization that needs to take place, but that takes time.  the speed of the internet doesn't allow for that time.  it doesn't allow for the simmering.  it doesn't allow time for rationality to set in.  it doesn't allow for processing to take place.  it doesn't allow for people to think!

going backward in time, the most recent, upsetting event is the penn state scandal.  that many adults had information about sexual abuse against a child and didn't do enough is upsetting.  but one was an eye-witness, and there definitely should've been more investigation and questioning on the part of all the parties.  the school board had a few days to think things over and fired joe pa immediately.  even though it's after the fact, and much later, i think that is still a good decision.  that was a moral failing that has unimaginable consequences for many now men and their families.  God help them.

the idiocy comes in in the form of the student protest.  actually, protest would be a good response.  the rioting and took place is simply ignorant and idiotic.  the quotes from some students are simply appalling.  they speak of needing to vent their anger.  they place the blame for the riots on the board for making the decision to fire joe pa.  is our generation of youth and young adults really not able to make mature decisions?  is rioting the only solution or way to vent their anger?  they are blaming their physical, intentional act of rioting on the board?  like the board made them riot?  are they serious?  is this really the state of america right now?  

we can blame it on ignorance.  if so, then these young people's parents and teachers are to blame.  that means, that's all of us.  we have raised a generation that feels so "privileged," they have no care except for themselves.  all of their negative responses and actions are blamed on an external source.  it's not they're fault, it's the systems fault.  bs.

people have been occupying various cities now.  claiming they are the 99% and the victims.  to a certain extent, true, but that extent is very small.  the greed and ignorance of people jumping on the housing market and using their credit and credit cards foolishly cannot be blamed on wall street execs.  they have their wrong doings, yes, but that blame cannot be solely placed on them.  it's the collective buying power and habit of the people that led to such a disastrous fall in our economy today.

london riots.  i don't know too much about what happened there, but i have to question why we think that it's ok to riot and ruin other people's lives?  it is not ok.  it doesn't solve anything.

random acts of violence.  they're not totally random per se, since the attacker has a reason for doing so.  but it is random for the victims, as they were innocent people going about their usual business.  students were going to class at virginia tech.  kids were going to school in columbine.  people were serving their country in the army base.  people were getting their hair done in a salon.  then in an instant, their lives are changed forever.  a disgruntled student or employee comes in and takes vengeance on random innocent people for the world to see.  how did it even occur to these people that this would be ok?  have we failed in educating people about venting their anger and frustrations in a healthy manner?  were they simply lunatics, an anomaly that couldn't have been stopped?

this is a societal moral failing.  we are reaping the consequences.  america is wealthy and rich.  and has continually drifted away from God.  this doesn't happen over night.  but over many nights.  many weeks.  many years.  many decades.  we're undoing the works of martin luther king, jr.  we're undoing the works of abraham lincoln.  we're undoing the works of many other leaders who devoted their lives to making things right in this country.  

there are others who live in the complete opposite end of the spectrum.  they look on and lift their high nose higher with a better-than-thou attitude and go on judging the liberals, the politicians, the business leaders, all others, but they fail to look at themselves.  what about bigotry and judgementalism?

when i was younger, i heard a pastor use this analogy:  he quoted someone else saying something along the lines of "you don't give a shit about all those people dying out there!" emphasizing the "shit."  he quickly followed by saying, "you see, you're more concerned that i said 'shit' instead of thinking of people really dying of hunger outside."  that one hit home.  we all need to take a look at ourselves.  what are we doing wrong first?

this is a worldwide issue.  a 21st century issue.  we need God.  

sometimes as an icebreaker, we ask each other what super power we'd like to have.  being invisible?  being able to fly?  shooting lasers out of your eyes?  it's a fun exercise.

i always said i wanted to be able to read peoples' minds.  it sounds creepy - having someone being able to peer into your thoughts, your unmentioned thoughts, your secret, sometimes dark, thoughts.  but that's not my primary objective.  i wanted to be able to make sense of what makes people tick.  i wanted to figure out the connection between what words were being verbally spoken, and what thoughts were drafted inside the mind.  i wanted to find the key to being able to decipher the words that come out of a person's mouth and figure out the true meaning inside the thoughts behind those spoken words.  

but i have a new super power i'd like to have.  it's the ability to replicate myself.  i think we all have had the desire to have several clones of ourselves to finish multiple tasks at once.  there's even a coke zero commercial that alludes to such.  i find myself bogged down by multiple tasks that all seem equally important and urgent.  i want to be there for people.  all of them.  at once.  i want to be able to flawlessly switch between the task oriented, driven self and the relaxed mucho-take-it-easy self, while also balancing the adventurous/gregarious self on the side.  i want to be the ceo, the vp, the middle manager, the newbie, the janitor, and the customer all at the same time.  i want to conduct and sing and play all at the same time.  i want to sleep and dream and be awake at the same time.  is this selfish?

all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  i already have this superpower.  we all have this superpower.  it's called community.  it's called the body of Christ.  it's called the fellowship of believers.  the Bible says that we are each members of the same body.  some hands, some feet.  that means some are eyes, some are ears, some are hair, some are skin.  some are organs, some are nails, some are bone, some are marrow.  though we may be localized to one responsible portion of the body, we have access to all the other parts.  i have my own unique make-up and specialization, yet if i want to be something else, i can tap into that something else because that something else is also a part of the body.

it's not a matter of not having the superpower to be all for all... it's not recognizing that we already have such access.  we share the responsibilities and the burdens.  no one person can become the entire body - that is too overwhelming for a single individual.  i'm glad i can only do one thing right.  well, right most of the time.  

so what i need to work on, what we need to work on together, is getting access to the other resources.  we have to work on communication, and networking, and organization.  but most of all, we need to practice getting the signal from the Head.  then we are able to know what we're supposed to do.  if each body part did whatever it wanted to do, we'd have a seizure, and normal operations would all cease.  

help me to hear from the Head what the body must do.